Thursday, February 02, 2006

Turd Ferguson advises RB on dating

Turd, on how to figure out if a guy is "normal":
The more I think about it, there is not an official chart for a normal dude. Like, I think I'm pretty normal, but I am sure there would be girls that don't, and if I really think about it, I think maybe I am kind of not normal. I think everyone could probably think that about themselves. I guess normalcy is in the eye of the beholder, so maybe a better word would be a non-asshole or the antithesis to douchebag.

Anyway, I think a normal dude should be extremely nice and polite, especially on a first date or something. But he can't be a dork either, like overly ridiculously nice. Just normal nice. There is that word again.

Turd, on where to meet normal guys:
Well, probably not at bars. Probably not at school either. Like, if I was single, and had to try to make something happen with the chicks at law school it would be impossible because I don't like most of them. Many are nerds (not cool nerds but like annoying, self righteous nerds, kind of like the difference between cool hippies and annoying hippies), and they are too smart for their own good (I'm not being sexist here, most of the guys are the same way).

Hmmm... I 'm starting to think you can't find normal dudes anywhere, like there isn't this place full of normal dudes. It must be that they are isolated by themselves, hidden amongst the annoying dude masses and you have to sift through them till you get lucky.

Turd, on slick guys who feed you lines:
Any sort of lines or game spat out and dude should immediately be disqualified. If a dude feeds a line, it means he's feeding it to other chicks, too. Those lines are what a dude should say to you after you already have a relationship somewhat established, because then you know he means it.

Turd, on crushes:
Just try not to develop a crush before you can know if they are normal or not.

3 comments:

Turd Ferguson said...

I'll be on Loveline next week.

Anonymous said...

You'll be the dude who calls in complaining of impotence, I assume.

Anonymous said...

Man I haven't been to RBlog in a spell, but I am loving this whole being single coverage. Very well timed(and yes it is EXPENSIVE)!
However advice from Turd? I only hope he is being so helpful to my ex!