Me, a Forensic Neuropsychologist?

I recently received this email from a man I have never heard of:

Dear Rebecca,

If you recall, you responded to a Craig's list ad for an assistant to a Forensic Neuropsychologist back in late Jan this year. In 3 days I had over 250 applications for the job, and your letter was in the top ten applicants, given your education, training and experience. My first choice and subsequent assistant suffered a terrible accident yesterday, and there is little hope that she will be returning to work.

I very much need an assistant immediately, who has good interpersonal skills, is psychologically minded and can do billing with any number of insurance companies and some report editing, as I now have a typing dictation service that hammers out the ruff draft. Only the formatting, scanning of tables and graphs, and some editing done in house. My practice is basically broken down into two parts: I see about 20 patients per week in individual or couple's psychotherapy and, as one of some 223 Board Certified Forensic Psychologist in the USA, I do a fair amount of assessment regarding the neurocognitive abilities of HIV+ individuals, pilots, traumatic brain injury etc.

I need someone to start immediately. The hours are somewhat flexible..."

This can't be right

My marketing text book also says that one out of every eight households in America is now an "alternative" or "non-traditional" household. The writers say that "alternative" or "non-traditional" households include the following groupings:

single people living alone
single adults living together
same sex couples
same sex parents
couples without children
single parents
empty nests

I don't see how it can only be one in eight. I can only think of a couple people I know who don't live in an alternative household, if you go with this definition. It also seems like about half of the people I know grew up in an alternative household. Is it possible that almost everyone I interact with is "alternative" in relation to the nation's average?

I haven't posted about it...

...because I can't figure it out. Nonetheless, the matter has been plaguing me. I'm having problems concentrating on anything else.

How is Katie Holmes pregnant?! And why? They can't possibly be sleeping together. There is no question in my mind that her relationship with Tom Cruise is only a publicity stunt. Is it possible that she was desperate for just such an arrangement back in April, because she was already knocked up? The Bible would have us believe that virgin births used to happen all over the place. Maybe they're coming back into vogue?





I'm so confused.

Interesting tidbit

From my marketing textbook:

"If the world were a village of 1,000 people, it would consist of 520 women and 480 men, 330 children, and 60 people over age 65, 10 college graduates, and 335 illiterate adults. The village would contain 52 North Americans, 55 Russians, 84 Latin Americans, 95 East and West Europeans, 124 Africans, and 584 Asians. Communication would be difficult, because 165 people would speak Mandarin, 86 English, 83 Hindi/Urdu, 64 Spanish, 58 Russian, and 37 Arabic, and the rest would speak one of over 200 other languages. There would be 329 Christians, 178 Moslems, 132 Hindus, 62 Buddhists, 3 Jews, 167 nonreligious people, 45 atheists, and 86 others."

That soap is not for you

When we were little, my mom always used to keep fancy soaps in the bathroom. The soaps were usually shaped like seashells or hearts, and everyone in the house knew that they were only for guests to use. We weren't supposed to use the fancy soaps, because once you washed your hands with an ornately molded little starfish, or whatever, it just looked like a misshapen lump.

Didn't everyone's mom have fancy soaps that were only for guests?

I remember thinking that this rule my mom had was incredibly dumb. I thought we should be able to use the soaps, too, and I promised myself that when I had my own house someday, I would buy fancy shaped soaps and use them whenever I wanted. Throughout my young twenties, I stood by this promise. I've bought soaps shaped like hippos, bananas, pigs, and flowers. I've gone through many a decorative soap in my time.

The thing is, decorative soap isn't all that functional. A lot of it doesn't lather up easily. Some of it leaves a slimy residue on your hands, or is just difficult to rinse off. I've come to terms with the fact that decorative soap is meant to be decorative. Period.

It was with this understanding that I purchased a fancy little soap shaped like a frog before my parents visited in August. The little frog soap has just been sitting in his soap dish, lookin' cute, ever since. Until yesterday, that is. A person without guest status, who will remain unnamed, felt that he should wash his hands and face with the fancy soap, and now my frog has been transformed into an unrecognizable blob.

I am not happy about this.

When did I turn into my mother?! And who doesn't know that you're not supposed to wash your face with the fancy soap!?!

CardioPod

My marketing group continues to dig up new product possibilities for our class project. We've considered tape worm diets, convertible high heels, round towels (potentially marketed as "The Rowel"), and more.

Currently in the lead is an iPod peripheral device. The product would securely strap your iPod to your arm and use a sensor to measure your heart rate. The device would connect to the iPod via the USB and control the play list. Software loaded onto the iPod would translate your heart rate data into song choices. Mainly people would use this thing when they're working out. Fast songs would come on when you were running hard and your heart rate was up, slower songs if you were cooling down or stretching. The iPod would also display your heart rate, maybe keep track of the time, and possibly calculate approximate calories burned, etc., so you could keep tabs on your workout.

Now we need a name...

Clare's post about last weekend

Clare wrote about our trip to Portland on the Bucky Blog. You should read it, as I haven't fully recovered from my blogger's block. Grad school is just sucking the creativity right outta me.

What is it?

Have you seen the TV commercials for it? They don't so much say what "it" is, but they lead you to this website. I can't find anything on the website that explains what "it" is either. There's a countdown to when they're going to release it, though.

What the hell?

New project #2

I've recently started two new classes (marketing and accounting) and could use help brainstorming concepts for the group projects.

Project 2: We have to develop an entirely new product and design a marketing plan for it. The product has to be something that is not yet available, but within the realm of possibility. We've come up with a lot of ideas, but they're either totally nuts or we wind up discovering that the product already exists. Is anyone out there trying to start a business or dreaming up concepts for new inventions?

New project #1

I've recently started two new classes (marketing and accounting) and could use help brainstorming concepts for the group projects.

Project 1: We have to choose a publicly held company to analyze for accounting. The company should be relatively simple and easy to understand. For instance, it'd be easier to sort out the data for a smaller company that is doing all of its business in one type of industry. There are no other restrictions. Any suggestions? Don't say Google, Jet Blue, or Apple. I think everyone at Haas is already suffering from "Apple-fatigue." I need something creative... maybe a little wacky.

Wholesome fun from Linda

Linda sent me a link to the weirdest site I've seen in the last few months. It seems to be real and based in Portland. Who makes up the market for these things? There can't be that many Amish swimmers around.

Count me out

For the next few Bond movies, that is. The last time I checked in, they were considering Ewan McGregor as a candidate for the next James Bond. How did they wind up with this guy?



He looks like he should be one of the maniacal villains. Quite a step down from Pierce, methinks. And he's certainly no Ewan McGregor. In addition to being extremely attractive, I thought that Ewan McGregor would add a nice Scottish element -- you know, lending a Connery vibe to the whole production.

That said, I find this photo confusing and slightly distressing.

Revenge of the cell phone

I had a chat yesterday with Annie about a recent cell phone drama (long story short: delete the phone numbers stored in your old cell phone before giving it away). During the convo, I mentioned to her that my cell phone is getting so old that I'm a little embarrassed about it. It still works fine, but does not make me look hip or tech savvy. No, I'm not really either of those things, but it would be kinda nice if my cell phone made me seem like I was.

I told Annie that even though my phone has gone out of style, it still seems wasteful to cough up the money for a new one when the truth is that I would never use any of the fancy new features that come on the phones, anyway. I talk on the phone. That's it. I don't even have text messaging and that is fine with me.

I obviously hurt my phone's feelings by telling Annie these things. As soon as I hung up, it started beeping in no regular pattern, flashed a bunch of lights and coding on its little screen, and promptly deleted all of the phone numbers stored in my phone book. It seems fine now. I can't really call anyone though, because I don't have anyone's number. There is a fair amount of distrust left between us. I suspect it might just be waiting for me to start re-entering phone numbers so it can delete them all again, or worse.

Perhaps this development has provided the motivation I need to go out and get a new phone? I really like the looks of the new, pink Razr, recently featured in Us Weekly.



I suppose I could get any old phone and snap on a pink face plate. All I really want is one of those Bluetooth set-ups so I can have that little, wire-free ear piece. My mom and Jeff are trying to peer pressure me into dumping Sprint and signing on with Verizon, so we could talk free.

What do you guys think? Does anyone absolutely love their phone or provider?

Blogger's block

Something is wrong. I've been trying to blog for the last week and I just can't do it. Nothing. I'm drawing a blank over and over.

What is the cure for blogger's block?

Here's what I'm going to be for Halloween, y'all:

I'm going to have the scariest costume ever! I'm trying to convince Jeff to dress as K-Fed, but he's having none of it. I even told him that it would give him a valid reason to chain smoke all night, but he remains unswayed.

Okay people...

I realize that I have been neglecting RBlog, and it pains me. Unfortunately, I'm suffering from a temporary work/school/life imbalance. Basically it's all school and work, which means no life. That translates to no blog.

You see, this week is my first set of finals. We had one 15-page paper due last Wednesday, followed by an 8-page paper due on Monday (which I had to present... I tend to freak out about public speaking and this was a power point presentation to sixty of my peers). Tonight my group had to do another presentation. I have one final exam Friday night (as in the day after tomorrow) after work, which I am not at all prepared for. Then my second final is Saturday afternoon from 1-4pm. Entirely new classes (marketing and accounting) start on Monday, and though we have not started we've already got reading assigned. Did I mention that I'm also working full time?

Bear with me. I promise to post some interesting things on Sunday. RBlog will be dynamic and entertaining once again. I just have to make it through these tests. It would be tragic if I flunked out of Haas in my first quarter. Not to mention horribly humiliating.