Happily Married Guy's tip to AF

"I think AF has gotta step it up in some way, with a little verve -- not just chocolates and that bs, but something fun. Too often people take romance so seriously. He's in grad school, so the theme could be 'romance her creatively for under $25.'

For the suggested 'under $25' kit:

Oversized card: $7.49
Flowers at Calmart: $9.99
Fun indian paper*: $3.95...

True love (insert romantic phrase here): priceless.

*handmade indian wrapping paper is gorgeous when used as a sort of tablecloth and lends a general festive effect."





Editor's note: When Happily Married Guy initially executed this romantic scheme for his own "queen," there was a yummy dinner and many homemade brownies included in the deal. Probably also champagne, if I know Happily Married Guy.

AF is a typical male

I am trying not to roll my eyes too much at the sterotypical dude-ness of the latest from AF:

"K and I started trading emails today. It all started when she wrote that she had heard about people who blew up a beached whale in Oregon with TNT. Then she wrote this in the last email: 'Maybe we can blow up some stuff after we get drinks tomorrow.'

!!!

Does that mean what I hope it does?

It's early February and that means Valentine's Day (VD) is around the corner. I hate VD and believe that it is a cheesy holiday perpetuated by the greeting-card industry (shouldn't we tell those whom we like that we like them every day of the year?). Regardless, if tomorrow night goes well, I'm sure I'm obligated to buy her something and/or take her out somewhere, right?"

In case your wallet is stolen

There are a few relatively easy things you can to to save yourself a lot of misery if your wallet is ever lost or stolen. I highly recommend the following:

1) Do NOT carry your social security card, or anything that has your social security number written on it, with you. If both your photo ID and your social security number are stolen, you can pretty much kiss your identity and good credit score goodbye.

2) Get a back-up photo ID. I know that Oregon and California both offer ID cards for non-drivers. They look almost exactly like drivers licenses. You should get one and keep it somewhere safe, like your nightstand. That way, when your wallet is stolen you can still go to the bank and withdraw cash and you can still write checks during the weeks it takes to replace everything. You can also use your passport to get cash at the bank, but most places won't let you write a check with a passport as ID.

3) If your wallet is stolen, put a freeze on your credit report. You can do this online through any of the big three credit-tracking companies. They put a 90-day initial warning on your account, which means that any company requesting your credit report or trying to open a new account in your name must call you (at a phone number you provide) to make sure that you are actually you.

AF is smitten

"I briefly talked to K this morning, but I didn't say anything interesting. When I see her, I think, "What am I going to talk to her about, other than the weather, school, and being tired of school?" It's kinda strange, in that I see her every day at school and our lockers are next to each other. All in all, this crush is not good for my studying -- all I do is think about making out with her on Thursday. Sigh..."

Back in the game

The majority of my replacement cards (replacements for those that were swiped along with my wallet) arrived in the mail last night! This is very good news, as it is incredibly difficult to navigate day-to-day life without a debit card. Now the only outstanding items I have left to replace are my license and trust in my fellow man.

One alarming development: they've changed my debit card from a VISA to a MasterCard. MasterCard? Who uses a MasterCard?! I didn't think those even existed anymore. I called the bank to find out why they had switched me and the woman said that they're switching everyone. It's a total conversion at Washington Mutual. Look out wamooers -- MasterCard is coming soon to your wallet! She assured me that every place that takes VISA takes MasterCard, but I'm not entirely convinced. Does it really work everywhere?

Farewell Pink Wallet

My wallet was stolen last week. I was at an industry happy hour at 111 Minna. Some of us had made a pile of jackets and bags in the corner behind a bench. I didn't think anything of setting my bag down with the others. We always do it and it seems like I should be able to trust my colleagues, right? I should know by now that publishing salaries are way too low for trust.

I had put all of my cash in my pockets, along with my pretty pink sparkle phone, so in a way I managed to minimize the losses. Still, the villains made off with my cards (debit, AmEX, VISA, and corporate card), my check book, drivers license, student ID, and other assorted items. It's the little stuff that has pissed me off the most. They got my lucky two-dollar bill from Nicaragua (I always carry it with me), a book of the new 39-cent stamps that I had just bought, Jeff's fishing license, and a gift card to J Crew that I had left over from Christmas. I'm also totally upset about the loss of the wallet itself. It was pink leather and, in my opinion, the best designed wallet in existence. Perfectly functional, if a little worn.

Dealing with the bank and credit card companies is like massaging a lemon juice and sea salt scrub into a paper cut. Banks make you pay to stop payment on any stolen checks. They also won't credit your account for any fraudulent charges for up to five business days. This can create real problems if it's a significant amount of money that has been withdrawn. The other frustrating thing is that the charges take days to clear. It's been a full week and I'm only partially certain that I've seen the last of the charges. Some of the credit card companies even have you go through the process of reporting a stolen card entirely through an automated recording. You don't ever talk to a real person.

Speaking of missed connections...

This guy emailed me last week, but I'm not his rebecca. O-Chem? Please!

Wonder how he got my email address?

AF scores a date!

AF is making some serious progress in the singles' world. He's making me feel like I've been staying in and studying finance a tad too much...

"After swapping voicemails yesterday, I telephoned K last night. I actually don't know her that well yet, so I learned lots of new things during the conversation. First, she's younger (24) than she looks. Her mom was born in China, so I think she is half-Chinese (but I didn't ask). That also is not at all apparent. And she likes to garden. Actually, I already knew that, because I Googled her, but I acted like it was new to me.

We talked for 45 minutes and at the end of the call I asked her to have a drink one night this week. She said yes and we set a date for Thursday evening after class.

While I don't think it is wrong to Google someone new, I'm not sure how to handle the info I dug up on her. Advice? I can't imagine ever disclosing the Googling before a relationship is established. Also, I'm guessing I should kiss her at the end of the night and she how she reacts?

P.S. I ran into another cute girl at an 'industry function' and she asked me where a good place to get lunch was. Since I had to act professional, I didn't strike up much of a conversation. so what did I do instead? I came home and posted a missed connection on craigslist."

Photos from Clare

Clare just sent new photos of Jack and his happy parents. Check it out if you're looking for your daily dose of extreme cuteness.

Also, she somehow found time between feedings and diaper changes to write down her thoughts about the day Bucky was born. I got all teary while reading it.

She likes girls?!

Here's my latest installment from AF's adventures in dating:

"I showed a little after eight on Friday and K greeted me at the door. I handed her the bottle of wine I had bought and she introduced me to her friends. Mind you, this is a seriously cliquey clique of girls and breaching a new social order is always intimidating. But they were actually really nice! Who knew?

K was busy in the kitchen and I offered to help while she made apple-gorgonzola biscuits (delicious). As we talked, I asked K why she was redecorating the place. She explained that her girlfriend had just moved out. Okay, I instantly think, she means ‘girlfriend’ like the way my mom uses it: a friend who just happens to be female. But then she said, 'We just broke up.' Guess she didn't mean it like my mom does...

I couldn't believe this was happening to me! The night was suddenly turning into a bad John Cusack movie, or something. Mentally stunned, I nodded as she talked, regaining cognitive function only when she said that she has had boyfriends in the past, too. Phew!

The rest of the evening seemed to go well. We all hung out in the living and joked about theme songs, barbiturates, and the Left Behind Series. She even walked me out when I had to leave.

Throughout the night I picked up a good vibe from K. She seems interested in me. But the whole into women v. into men thing remains a little unsettled. I certainly don’t have a problem with it, but I’m not entirely sure where she stands. I guess I should ask her out again to find out more?"

Talking monkeys

Dressing up monkeys and making them say bad words is one of the most distracting things I have recently stumbled upon. Check it out. Why does this type of thing always seem to pop up when I'm supposed to be studying for an exam? Also, I'm very confused about what talking monkeys have to do with career building.

Thanks to Kay for the link!

Turd Ferguson advises RB on dating

Turd, on how to figure out if a guy is "normal":
The more I think about it, there is not an official chart for a normal dude. Like, I think I'm pretty normal, but I am sure there would be girls that don't, and if I really think about it, I think maybe I am kind of not normal. I think everyone could probably think that about themselves. I guess normalcy is in the eye of the beholder, so maybe a better word would be a non-asshole or the antithesis to douchebag.

Anyway, I think a normal dude should be extremely nice and polite, especially on a first date or something. But he can't be a dork either, like overly ridiculously nice. Just normal nice. There is that word again.

Turd, on where to meet normal guys:
Well, probably not at bars. Probably not at school either. Like, if I was single, and had to try to make something happen with the chicks at law school it would be impossible because I don't like most of them. Many are nerds (not cool nerds but like annoying, self righteous nerds, kind of like the difference between cool hippies and annoying hippies), and they are too smart for their own good (I'm not being sexist here, most of the guys are the same way).

Hmmm... I 'm starting to think you can't find normal dudes anywhere, like there isn't this place full of normal dudes. It must be that they are isolated by themselves, hidden amongst the annoying dude masses and you have to sift through them till you get lucky.

Turd, on slick guys who feed you lines:
Any sort of lines or game spat out and dude should immediately be disqualified. If a dude feeds a line, it means he's feeding it to other chicks, too. Those lines are what a dude should say to you after you already have a relationship somewhat established, because then you know he means it.

Turd, on crushes:
Just try not to develop a crush before you can know if they are normal or not.

Econ humor

Jenny, who was an economics major as an undergrad, sent me this today:

"It's sad that Alan Greenspan has been replaced. I always enjoyed this website: www.theeconomist.com... it makes me laugh."

Nadia made me do it

Nadia "tagged" me to do this silly blogging chain letter-esque thing where I have to answer the following questions. I've been ignoring it since I don't like stuff like this. Nadia, don't say I never did anything for you...

Four jobs I have had:
1) Shopgirl in a Jewish bakery specializing in bagels and challah
2) Accounts payable assistant for a charter bus company
3) Paid to read newspapers, surf the web, and sneak out to go shopping (otherwise known as working for a dotcom)
4) Book review writer

Four movies I could watch over and over:
1) Anything
2) starring
3) Shahrukh
4) Kahn.

Four places I've lived:
1) Portland, Oregon
2) Tacoma, Washington
3) London, England
4) San Francisco, California

Four TV shows I love to watch:
I don't really have time for TV, so I'll just name two...
1) Entourage
2) Law & Order SVU

Four places I've been on vacation:
1) Edinburgh, Scotland
2) Caye Caulker, Belize
3) Victoria, British Columbia
4) Bay Islands, Honduras

Four of my favorite foods:
1) pizza
2) kalamata olives
3) raw cookie dough
4) anything involving bacon and/or avocados

Four places I'd rather be right now:
1) anywhere sunny
2) getting a pedicure
3) Jeff's parents' hot tub
4) camping

Four sites I visit daily:
1) The New York Times online
2) The Superficial
3) www.wamu.com
4) Google

Four bloggers I am tagging:
I don't know four bloggers who would do this, so I'm just gonna say Turd Furguson and see if he takes me up on it.

Adventures in dating

It was suggested recently that I liven up the blog posts with more dish on my single life. While that might make for interesting reading, I feel limited by the fact that so many people read this blog, including Jeff and my dad (hi guys!).

As a compromise, my anonymous friend (AF) is going to start sending in reports on his adventures in dating. AF is also in grad school and a couple months out of a long-term relationship. We'll get to live vicariously and he gets our advice.

Here's the first installment. For the past week or so AF has been semi-stalking a girl from school, trying to work up the nerve to ask her out on a date:

"ok. so last night, after class, with her friend standing right there, i asked that girl to the show. she said she had something to do with her place, and i was like okay. she said, 'you'll have to tell me how the show is.' and i thought: well, that sounds like kind of a real excuse. anyhow, i felt better about just having asked her, b/c you're right, i'm too shy for my own good sometimes.

then, i saw this email today:

'hi,
not sure if this is your email or what... i'm just guessing. anyway, i realized i sounded very vague earlier, what i meant was 'friday i'm actually having some friends over to redecorate my place, but you should stop by before the show for a drink...' good times. see you in class tomorrow.
K'

she took the time to look up my email and invite me. so that's good, right? give me the girl scoop. anyhow, now i need to write and say yes. so all seems to be going well. single is definitely not as bad as i thought. lonely maybe, but not scary."