Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Nothin' like a good poo story

Clare is trying to encourage my maternal instinct by sharing funny stories about Jackson (not that it's relevant to anything happening at present, but I have finally started to waiver on my firm belief that motherhood is not for me). For some reason I find the funny stories about kids much more endearing than the sugary sweet ones.

Anyway, here's her latest -- it's hilarious. Gross, but hilarious.

"Last weekend (not this past one but the one before it) Ross took Jack with him to the grocery store. Jackson had a HUGE blow-out (our kid likes to poop, wait four days then poop again, so they're always big, but this was enormous). Ross, thinking that he'd be a good dad, takes Jackson to the store bathroom to clean up the mess, instead of waiting until he got home (we live about four blocks from Safeway). However, there's no changing table in the men's room. Ross decides to use the floor. He puts down the changing pad, then puts down Jack, who at that moment decides to show off his new rolling-over trick... and rolls all over the poop. It's in his hair, all over his legs, back, and arms. Ross is frantically trying to clean it up enough to escape the store. A few guys come in to the bathroom while he's in there and immediately sorta back out slowly, like... "Man, I never want to be in your shoes!" When I get home Ross is sitting in a chair, pushing Jack back and forth in the stroller watching a World Cup game. Ross' face is ashen. Jackson is happy as a clam, though just a diaper and still slightly poo-tinged. I giggled all through Jackson's bath!"

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

"... and rolls all over the poop."

Wait. Is that the WRONG way to do it?

Anonymous said...

poo-tinged, eh?

RB said...

Clare actually decribed him as looking "yellow" which I just found too gross. Poo-tinged still gets the idea across, right?

Anonymous said...

that was me. but yes, poo-tinged is better than yellow. what was the kid eating, anyway? i think that is helpful in determining the tint, hue, and color of the tinge.