I've recently passed the two-month mark as a single woman. Because single is not my standard state, it's been a somewhat unique two months in the life of RB. I must admit that things out here in the single world aren't that different. The biggest difference is the lack of predictability. Life follows a much stronger routine when you're a half of a couple. I don't mean for "predictable" or "routine" to have a negative connotation here. "Predictable" and "routine" also usually go along with focused, healthy, and productive.
Over the last two months I've definitely had a much higher rate of really weird stuff happen (both weird = funny/entertaining and weird = uncomfortable/sketchy). I'm not sure why this is. Do people actually react to single women differently? Or am I the one reacting differently? It's probably a combination, paired with the onslaught of unfamiliar situations.
Being single seems to mean that everyone you encounter wants to talk about your love life or how you could develop one. Maybe except for your closest friends, who get sick of hearing you obsess about it. Single life also seems to involve spending a lot more money... Not entirely sure what what it's spent on, though. A lot more taxi rides, for one. Extra fees for sending too many text messages, for two.
It's probably a bad sign, but I'm already frustrated the whole dating concept. It seems ridiculous to me that you could find someone that you like enough to eventually partner up with by having a series of dinners or drinks with virtual strangers. If nothing else, it's totally inefficient.
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Here is my theory:
It's very difficult to meet someone cool by trying to meet someone cool. Conversely, it is surprisingly easy to meet someone cool once you have completely stopped trying. Basically, you have to forget about wanting to be in a relationship and all the cool stuff that goes along with it. Start with a working assumption that you might be single forever, but give the assumption a thin subconscious crust of thinking that you probably will meet someone eventually, but keep that part extremely abstract. Anyway, with that frame of mind, you simply start making your life how you want it to be in all the areas where you actually can do something about it, like - I don't know, doing the kinds of things make you happy, and exercising and stuff. Whatever. The key is to make yourself totally content and happy to be single, and pretty much as soon as that happens, you will be completely irresistable to exactly the right kind of people.
In short, in order to meet someone cool you should not try to MEET someone cool, you should try to BE someone cool.
And always go on camping trips with random groups of people if possible.
Wise words. However, I am trying hard not to infer that you think I am currently not cool.
It doesn't matter what I think. That's the point.
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