That soap is not for you

When we were little, my mom always used to keep fancy soaps in the bathroom. The soaps were usually shaped like seashells or hearts, and everyone in the house knew that they were only for guests to use. We weren't supposed to use the fancy soaps, because once you washed your hands with an ornately molded little starfish, or whatever, it just looked like a misshapen lump.

Didn't everyone's mom have fancy soaps that were only for guests?

I remember thinking that this rule my mom had was incredibly dumb. I thought we should be able to use the soaps, too, and I promised myself that when I had my own house someday, I would buy fancy shaped soaps and use them whenever I wanted. Throughout my young twenties, I stood by this promise. I've bought soaps shaped like hippos, bananas, pigs, and flowers. I've gone through many a decorative soap in my time.

The thing is, decorative soap isn't all that functional. A lot of it doesn't lather up easily. Some of it leaves a slimy residue on your hands, or is just difficult to rinse off. I've come to terms with the fact that decorative soap is meant to be decorative. Period.

It was with this understanding that I purchased a fancy little soap shaped like a frog before my parents visited in August. The little frog soap has just been sitting in his soap dish, lookin' cute, ever since. Until yesterday, that is. A person without guest status, who will remain unnamed, felt that he should wash his hands and face with the fancy soap, and now my frog has been transformed into an unrecognizable blob.

I am not happy about this.

When did I turn into my mother?! And who doesn't know that you're not supposed to wash your face with the fancy soap!?!