I have a bad, bad cold. It's the kind of cold where you can't breathe and you have to blow your nose so much that the skin around it starts peeling. I'm also sweating while I have goosebumps. There are a kazillion crumpled tissues distributed in a little trail that tracks my progress through the day. The path goes from bed, to the couch, back to bed, with a slight detour through the bathroom.
There are many crappy things about being sick, but for me these are the most crappy:
1) When you get in bed to go to sleep all the congestion in your nose plugs up one nostril or the other, but not both, so your breathing is completely unbalanced. It makes me feel horrible. I used to think that was just a weird quirk of mine, until I took a yoga class that involved measured breathing through one nostril or another to achieve inner peace. Or something like that. Okay, honestly, I can't remember what we were trying to achieve because I was just focused on not laughing, but I still think that having only one nostril totally blocked up is enough to seriously mess a person up. Or at least enough to make it impossible to fall asleep.
2) Single people totally get the shaft when it comes to being sick. I think some people might get married or shack up only because they want someone to take care of them when they're sick. It's even in the vows -- "in sickness and in health..." If you're single, and don't live with your mother, you pretty much have to take yourself to Walgreen's to buy tissue and Nyquil, you have to make your own tea, get your own blanket, there's no one to listen sympathetically when you complain for hours on end, and there's no one to offer to make you soup.*
I think there should be a service where you could pay someone to do these things. It would even out the playing field a little and make things more equitable for the sick singles out there.
*That's a little bit of a lie, Matty K. did offer to come make me soup. But I really wouldn't want him to see me in this state. I couldn't be more disgusting and irritable. Plus, when a roommate or friend offers to do these things for you, you feel like you should be smiley and nice, even if you think you're about to die. It's really not the same as a mom or partner who is stuck with you regardless of your whiny disgustingness.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
being sick sucks, get well soon. So true I wine to my gf when im sick. So nice to hear "poor baby"
Hope you feel better. Have you tried bleeding out the infection? It worked wonders for George Washington.
i've had a personal theory since college that you can conquer any cold by drowning the bacteria in Jim Beam. It means that you have to forgo the Coke side of a Beam + Coke, because of the sugar and caffine. But in short term you'll kill all the bad bacteria and also devlope a nice buzz, which hopefully takes your mind off of your raw and bleeding nose. Just make sure to get plenty of sleep.
The one nostril issue is my living nightmare. It stressed me out to even read about and think of someone else dealing with it. It makes you feel so unbalanced.
Feel better!
and Matt let's be honest, you use this Jim Beam strategy for a lot more than colds
Jim Beam is good for the following: gettin f*ed up, liquid forget (for all those pesky thoughts), and heightened sense of self esteem.
sure. colds. flus. sore muscles. it works for a variety of ailments. it even works if you're having a bullet removed, ask doc holiday.
Post a Comment