But that's okay. I can admit it: The new Zach Braff movie, The Last Kiss was kinda bad. Well, maybe not flat out bad, but certainly not good. The basic premise for the film was to take every phase of a romantic relationship possible (contemplating commitment, married with kid, recent split up, causally dating, married thirty years, etc.) and show how much it completely and totally sucks. Throw in some completely irrelevant sex scenes and gratuitous boob shots, and you have yourself a movie. I'm really not sure there was any takeaway, other than the message that relationships are always going to be imperfect and not entirely fulfilling, so it's really not that big of a deal to cheat.
I'm still at least partially in love with Zach Braff, however. Alright, alright... totally in love.
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Dude! Some joker over at Salon is not enamoured of Zach Braff!
Why I Hate Zach Braff
Zach Braff sucks. Garden State sucked. There are gratuitous boob shots, though? I'll watch it, but I'll wait for the DVD.
That is really too bad about The Last Kiss... I had high hopes for it as well. Unlike hip e, I really enjoyed Garden State, but if this one isn't up to par, I guess I will wait for DVD.
ESPN's Bill Simmons, the "Sports Guy", on Last Kiss:
32. Oakland, 0-3
Confession time: The Sports Gal dragged me to see "The Last Kiss" this week under the "you make me watch sports for 365 days a year, I ask you to take me to one movie per year" corollary. I didn't know anything about it other than it looked like "Garden State 2," which I wasn't sure was a good thing or a bad thing. Well, it turned out to be a profoundly unhappy movie that will leave you almost in disbelief the entire time that anyone would make a movie so depressing. It's about as uplifting as the sex scene from "Requiem For a Dream," only if you threw in Starbucks music, some intermittent screaming and Zach Braff looking secretly pissed off the director isn't listening to him.
Midway through the 20th straight scene where two people were yelling at one another, I pulled the straw out of the Sports Gal's soda, then pretended to start slitting my wrists with it. She started laughing and a couple of people turned around and gave us nasty looks, because God forbid we were interrupting such a powerfully crappy movie. That pissed me off -- that other people were pissed off, because there's no way in hell anyone should like this movie -- so I spent the rest of the movie mimicking various suicide attempts, with my favorite one being the "open a bottle of pills, turn them over, pour them out, then stuff a bunch of them in your mouth" routine. Let's see them put this blurb on the movie poster.
Here's why I'm telling you this: I'm not sure what will end up being a more depressing DVD release -- "The Last Kiss," or the Raiders' 2006 team video. Probably depends on the number of Imogen Heap songs. But I really don't want you to see the "Last Kiss," and I really, really, REALLY don't want you to wager on the 2006 Raiders. Not ever.
Another funny Zach Braff article (and all-around great website):
http://fametracker.com/blue_moons/future_2006_10_03.php
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