I'm up late packing for the weekend. For those of you who may not have heard, Turd and Goose are getting married in Portland on Saturday night. I'm totally geared up for the wedding. I'm looking forward to seeing Turd and Goose and I can't wait to take part in all the wedding-related antics. Plus, I hear that Portland is super hot and sunny right now, which pretty much makes it heaven.
As far as I know, Hip E is still wrestling with his best man's toast. This toast may quite possibly be the most anticipated event of the summer. It's definitely been the most talked about. It seems like we should all be able to place bets on some aspect of the toast in order to make the anticipation and buzz just that much more exciting, but I'm not sure what exactly it is we'd be betting on. There's really no way to quantify funniness. Other suggestions?
You can count on RBlog for a full review of the matrimonial festivities next Monday.
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9 comments:
perhaps you can wager on the # of uncomfortable silences or nervous laughs amoungst the audience...
Or maybe on the amount of evil glares from the Goose and her family in Hips direction.
i'll take bets with anyone willing to wager, that he'll talk for 15 minutes, digress into unplanned stories that make NO sense at least twice, and by the time he's done talking no one will have a clue what was said because it will all be gibberish.
this is going to be the most awesome train wreck ever.
$100 says Hip E insults the spiritual nature of the ceremony.
And another $100 says he references Hey Crackhead.
Okay now I feel bad. I hear it was awesome and I want take-backs on my previous comments.
Without the nervousness and ridicule from all my friends, not to mention Turd's dad, the final product might not have been the unmitigatedly triumphal walk-off grand slam that it was. I also have to thank Thrill for his very supportive, almost hypnotic assurances that my material was solid gold, Peetoom for his great advice to completely stop thinking about it an hour and a half before the speech, my mom for making me practice it on her during dinner, Turd's dad lending me his pen and for running smack at me all night and getting my blood up to prove him wrong, Walloch for repeatedly telling everyone that this was the most nervous he's ever seen me, Maid of Honor Jamie for procrastinating just as long as me, which made me feel a lot better, and for warming everybody up with her own great speech, the whole audience for laughing at even the slightest hint of a joke, and finally to Turd for picking me out of a stacked field of friends and siblings in spite of everything he knows about me. It was a great honor.
how about a review of me?
send me your new email address?
I thought you could be trusted to give an update Monday morn. Its Tuesday and we are still waiting.
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