Knocked Up

I went to go see that Katherine Heigl/Seth Rogen movie yesterday and was pretty disappointed. Parts of it were funny, but the reviews had made it sound like it was going to be peeing-my-pants funny. It was more just a chuckle-here-and-there-and-now-I-am-for-sure-never-getting-pregnant funny. In fact, I was a little upset and grossed out when I left the movie theater. Not a lot, just enough that I wouldn't say I really enjoyed it. I still love both Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen, though.

A tip

There should be a rule about no in-depth discussion of allergies on first dates. If you're a dude, it just makes you sound like a weenie. You have to be sure a lady is fairly smitten with you before you draw attention to any major flaw or weakness. Food allergies being a huge weakness, if you ask me. Nothing more high maintenance than a dude with food allergies.

If you can't eat cheese, then don't order cheese. Just don't talk about it. We don't want to think about your bowels coping with milk enzymes. Same for any problems involving a lot of snot. Not sexy.

Ugh

I have been hating life all week. Everything is going wrong and everyone is driving me crazy. There are four possible reasons for this:

A) PMS
B) Mercury in retrograde
C) Post-vacation blues
D) All of the above

I hope it ends soon, because I'm so pissy to be around that I'm annoying even myself.

I'll throw the panda shots up, too

There was SO much panda hype in Beijing, obviously, and I was pretty amped up about seeing the actual panda bears. I must say, they could not have been more disappointing. They all seemed to be suffering hangovers... passed out pandas. See for yourself:

Oh, and some zip line shots...

I've gotten lazy about posting any photos.

On the bus

This is the ride to the Great Wall, on my birthday. Really good way to celebrate a birthday, by the way.

An abridged email from Sally

Sent while I was traveling...

"Mom has been watching the news and wants to know if you were one of the 76 people who died in some floods they had in the Southern China. Dad and I tried to explain to her that there are about 1.3 billion people in China, so the likelihood that you were one of 76 who died in a flood is probably not very good. Anyway. She'll be glad to hear from you.

I have attached some photos from Dad's and my trip to So Cal. Pretty exciting. Despite the fact that it was 115 degrees there one day we had a great time. I like the desert. I brought home some cacti. Funny how they will let you on the plane with some really sharp plants, but I can't take my eyelash curler on board."

I want my long weekend

I'm going to go on record as saying that having Independence Day on a Wednesday is about the dumbest thing ever. As someone who has already managed to rack up a vacation-day deficit in less than a year of employment, I am incredibly bitter about being cheated out of a three-day weekend. It should be in the constitution that we have the right to a long weekend during the first week of July.

Speaking of three day weekends, I bought three plane tickets to Portland this afternoon. Yes, it's finally been arranged -- I'm taking the boys home to meet my parents. Both Dave and Sam. I must admit, I've taken a few boyfriends home to meet the parents before, and for some reason taking a kid too makes the whole thing a lot less nerve wracking and a lot more amusing. You wouldn't think it, but it's true.

Claim your shirt

Sometime back in May, Dave found a Banana Republic bag in his car. The bag has a brand new, extra small blouse in it, with the sales receipt. It was purchased with a debit card, but the receipt in the bag doesn’t list a name. After running through a list of everyone who has been in the car, neither one of us can figure out who it belongs to. No one will claim it. The other thing is, I really can’t picture anyone I know wearing it. It’s sort of a purple leopard print-esque pattern, but a very conservative, almost masculine cut.

The bag has been sitting on my dresser for weeks now, and I don’t know what to do with it. The shirt fits me, but I’d never wear it.

Overheard

A dude to his friend (also a dude), while sitting in a Noe Valley bagelry:

"So... I guess if we move here, one of us is going to have to get pregnant."

A Great Wall series

Easing into the China pics

Here's a shot of me and Brian drinking vodka red bulls at a dance club in Shanghai on the last night of the trip. I'm the one on the left. There are crazy clubs everywhere in Shanghai... very swanky. Ten dollar beers type swanky. And they don't ever close.

Okay, here's another one.



It's the view of one bar/club's balcony (many had decks that overlook the river) from another club.

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with the task at hand -- sharing photos and tales of this trip. I figure if I get something out there, the flood gates will open. Baby steps.

Here's one more before I call it a night. Haasholes having happy hour drinks in the afternoon at that same bar. You might recognize the Pearl Tower in the skyline behind them.



Julia, the one in the middle (of course) was my roomie for the trip.

Vegas is gross

I know it's not just Vegas fatigue, because I've been feeling this way since the moment we landed. I'm starting to be very confused by those few people I know who are die-hard Vegas fans, because it just seems so cheesy and gross.

Maybe it's just because I didn't have my pick of hotels (had to crash at the one with the conference rate -- I'm at the MGM Grand where they don't seem to understand the concepts of "customer" or "service"). But really, I can't get my head around the casinos either. Everyone in them seems to be one or all of these things, 1) chain smoking, 2) obese, 3) elderly, 4) from Texas or another one of those red states, 5) sporting bad fake tits. The ones with all five make me really depressed. Especially when they're sitting at the slot machines at 6 am.

I can see how it would be a good destination for something like a bachelorette party... I guess. Seems like somewhere like Scottsdale or a variety of spots in Mexico might offer up the same party atmosphere with a little more class.

You know me. I'm a classy broad.

My blog is also PG

Also, as in addition to Linda's. We're such clean cut girls.

This was determined by the presence of the word "turd" twice (really, that's all?), as well as the presence of the word "crappy."

Back in the U.S.

Albeit, Vegas. I've been here since Sunday, which is quite enough Vegas for anyone. Flew into SFO from Shanghai Saturday morning, flew out to Vegas Saturday night. Had just enough time at home to squeeze in some quick lovin', unpack, and repack.

There's no blogging in China. You can't access any of them, or the blogger.com site. The government firewall locks it all out. Word on the street is that some blogs that are hosted by Chinese blog sites work, but I couldn't call them up. Eventually, I'll have some photos up and some reflections on the trip to post. The short version is that is was awesome and I was sad when it ended.

Since arrival in Vegas, I have spent much of my time combating the worst stomach problems I have ever had. Sunday night I was curled into the fetal position on the bathroom floor -- as close as possible to the toilet -- when my sister started asking if she should take me to the hospital. The concierge offered to send up a medic. The whole group that went to China suffered from the usual collection of traveler's digestive problems (some fairly severe), but I have no idea why mine should take such an extreme turn upon reentry.

I'm feeling almost human now, and honestly can't wait to be back in my hood and sleep in my own bed.